The science of cosleeping

When Hubby and I were getting ready for Baby Boy's arrival, we built the crib in our room so he would be close for night feedings and such. Once we got him home, I realized that even getting out of bed to get the baby to feed him and put him back in the crib after was too much effort to be going through every hour or two all night. I wasn't planning on cosleeping; it just happened. 

Like most moms in the US, I'd heard about how dangerous cosleeping is for babies. But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to know the science behind this blanket statement that I should never fall asleep with baby. Lucky for me, I found a really interesting paper that summarized current research on just that topic. And what it said wasn't at all what I expected. (The whole article, Mother-Infant Cosleeping, Breastfeeding and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: What Biological Anthropology Has Discovered About Normal Infant Sleep and Pediatric Sleep Medicine by J.J. McKenna, H.L. Ball, and L.T. Gettler (2007) can be found here). If 24 pages from an anthropology journal is more than you'd care to read, here are some highlights:

Our (Western) society has an abnormal reliance on "expert advice" that leads people, in this case parents, to trust the advice of others above their own instincts. Research has shown that the rate of SIDS is much lower in cultures where moms and babies typically breastfeed and cosleep. 

A baby's whole world revolves around mom, specifically her ability to nourish him by providing breastmilk. There is a direct relationship between cosleeping and breastfeeding, specifically cosleeping moms and babies do more breastfeeding.

Separating mom and baby for sleep is more about our cultural desire for babies to become independent than what is best for baby. However, one study showed that children who sleep with their parents are less demanding of their parents' attention (read: more independent) while playing than children who don't.

Studies in other primates have shown that separating babies from their moms leads to all sorts of physical and emotional problems.

"Many researchers believe that arousal deficiency--the inability of an infant to arouse and breathe following an otherwise 'normal' breathing pause or apnea--may play an important role in SIDS." Moms and babies who cosleep are more sensitive to each other waking up and tend to experience less deep sleep, which is the stage of sleep when babies are most likely to have a pause in breathing. Being near mom's breathing may help stimulate baby's breathing and help prevent SIDS.

Even though, like me, most new moms don't plan on cosleeping, 70% of new parents do it at least occasionally. There are lots of reasons for cosleeping: it makes breastfeeding easier, it's enjoyable to spend time close to baby, it's comforting to keep baby close to keep an eye on his health and safety, it's easier to calm baby when he's fussy, etc. What's your favorite reason?

Baby's First Week

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a little money if you make a purchase using these links.

I'm not going to say that I have this whole Mom thing figured out. After all, I've literally been doing it for a week. But I've already found several things that have helped tremendously. 

Nursing bras. I've been wearing ones like these pretty much 24/7. They're super comfy, unfortunately they have zero support. So when your milk machines are engorged, they're all freaking over the place. Not a problem if you're hanging out at home, but I would suggest something more like a sports bra for excursions. 

Nipple cream. I legit have bruised nips. Just because babies don't have teeth, doesn't mean they can't bite you. I have no idea what this stuff is or why it works, but I seriously don't care. It's super awesome. Stock up. 

Prepared food. A few weeks before Baby Boy's arrival, I made some freezer meals. We've already run through most of the fully cooked stuff, but we also have a bunch of stuff that's halfway prepped. At this point, the less effort I have to use to feed myself, the better. 

Newborn diapers. Even if you want to use cloth diapers (we do), they have a minimum weight suggestion of 8 pounds, so it's going to take awhile for most babies to grow into them. They're cheaper online and you will use LOTS of them unless you want baby stewing in his own pee. 

Receiving blankets. So far, Baby Boy has only worn clothes twice. Once coming home from the hospital and once when we went to his first doctor's appointment. Otherwise, he's swaddled in a receiving blanket (we definitely didn't steal any from the hospital... maybe) and enjoying lots of skin to skin time. The ones from Carter's aren't the cheapest, but they're very soft flannel and bigger than some other brands.

Helpful hubby. Hubby has been great. He's been taking initiative on things like laundry, cooking (microwaving totally counts, at least right now), doing dishes, and reminding me to sleep when the baby sleeps. He's also good at diaper changes and other baby stuff. Even though he can't directly help with breastfeeding, he brings snacks and water while Baby Boy and I are having boobie time. If Hubby isn't available, try to find someone who loves you, doesn't add any stress to your life, and cleans--key here is that you have to be comfortable with them seeing you topless. Baby's first week is pretty much all about boobies (if you're breastfeeding). 

Patience. You're not going to instinctively know everything about your baby right away. There will be times when your baby seems to be crying for no reason. Make sure his needs are being met (clean diaper, not too hot, not too cold, not hungry), then try rocking, walking, swaying, singing, dancing, etc. You'll get through it.