Shoes!

When I had my Dress fitting and didn't have my Shoes, it sparked something in me: I needed Shoes. Fast. I already had something in mind, but I didn't have anything in the flesh (or in the heel, as might be more fitting (hahaha)). I was planning to wear (new, white) flip flops for the majority of the Big Day (they're going to be under a dress... who's going to notice?) and a pair of heels for a short while. And then I realized that my honey is going to be all dressed up, so maybe I should put on pretty shoes for the whole event, except that heels are not something I want to wear for 6+ hours. 

So, I made a quick trip to my favorite shoe store and ended up purchasing a pair of Shoes. A couple, in fact. I bought a new pair of sneakers to wear on our Honeymoon (in a prettier color than boring black, like my other sneakers) and a pair of heels for the Big Day. I hadn't meant to. I already had heels that I was planning to wear (the same ones I wore in our Engagement Photos, naturally). But this new pair was a better color for matching my accessories, so I had to get them, of course. They're also terribly fitting to wear for a wedding: they say "Love Kills Slowly" in a lovely, color-coordinated script. Ironic, no?

Not Your Typical Love Triangle

One of my favorite classes in college was the Psychology of Relationships. And one of my favorite parts of the class (and there were many) was the Triangular Theory of Love, which was created by Robert Sternberg. According to the theory, there are three different components of Love, and Love can be found in any combination of its three components.

The first component is Intimacy, or a feeling of closeness.
The second component is Passion, or romantic or sexual attraction.
The third component is Commitment, or dedication to making the relationship last.

Companionate Love is Love with Intimacy and Commitment, but lacking Passion.
Fatuous Love is Love with Passion and Intimacy, but lacking Commitment.
Romantic Love is Love with Commitment and Passion, but lacking Intimacy.

The greatest form of Love is called (quite appropriately) Consummate Love. This is the Love that combines all three components: closeness, attraction, and dedication. This is the type of Love we all strive for. The theory states (hypothesizes, really) that every relationship is in a constant state of flux, and that it is natural to go through phases of feeling more or less of each component of Love at different times. The key to making a relationship succeed is recognizing this and accepting it for what it is, instead of abandoning ship, which is what our culture of instant gratification would suggest.

How about a Postscript: Looking back at my relationship history, I can honestly say that I have experienced each of the aforementioned types of Love. My honey may be the first person with whom I have shared Consummate Love, and I look forward to every day we get to share.

The Dress, Uncovered

I got a phone call the other day from a number I didn't recognize. I was greeted by name, but couldn't figure out how the caller was trying to identify herself. I asked her to repeat: this time I got her name, but not how she thought I knew her. The third time's the charm: "HiThisIsFlaviaFromBridesByDemetrios." Of course, who else could it have been? Now that I knew who I was talking to, I was able to move on to the juicy part of the call. My Wedding Dress had arrived and I needed to come in for my first fitting. Their earliest available appointment happened to be on my next day off, so I scheduled the appointment, thanked Flavia (who at some point paused to take a breath), hung up and immediately called my Mommy.

This was an appointment I wanted help with.

On the day of the appointment, I met my Mommy at the store, gave her some things I had picked up for the Big Day, got some things she'd brought for me (pretty typical of a meeting with my Mommy) and we headed into the store.

Now, a first fitting for a Wedding Dress isn't something you can do on the fly. It requires some serious planning. You have to go to the appointment fully outfitted with whatever undergarments you are planning to wear with the Dress, and (obviously) your Shoes. Luckily, Victoria's Secret recently sent me a coupon for a free pair of undies (I don't mind saying that white undies aren't really my style, and I'd rather not have any crazy colors or patterns showing through my white Dress) so I dragged my honey to VS (he's going to see the chosen undies eventually, and I don't want him to think they're lame) and picked out a pair of cute lacy undies in plain old white to wear and not show through my Dress. I didn't think I wanted to wear a bra under the Dress (it has enough padding and cushioning and support to keep everything in place, not that I have so very much to begin with) but I decided to take a strapless bra with me to the appointment. Just in case. 

And then there are the Shoes. Have I purchased Wedding Shoes? I have not. I had been planning to wear flip flops (it's going to be hot in wine country in the summer, and I hate wearing uncomfortable shoes), but my Mommy convinced me that I should have a cute pair of heels, at least for part of the festivities. So I brought both.

Which brings us back to the fitting. Finally. We'd purchased the Dress in the appropriate size, but it still needed to be tweaked a bit. They're taking in a little at the boobs (sorry, Honey), a little at the hips, and a little off the length (why are Wedding Dresses designed for women who are 5'9"? That is not the average height of American women...). Mommy agreed 100% with all of my chosen adjustments. And, of course, she took pictures (that no one gets to see until after the Big Day). And then we get to go back in a couple of weeks to make sure everything's perfect. Sounds pretty perfect so far.

Serendipity

Shortly after my previous post (trash-talking a Florist, if you haven't read it yet), I needed to go to the grocery store. One of my preferred grocery stores is adjacent to a Florist. Since I was so close, I figured I should stop by the Florist, if only to buy a couple of flowers to create a sample centerpiece from.

I have been to this particular Florist before, and they carry a wide variety of tropical flowers (my favorites). While I was looking at their selection, the Florist asked me if I had any questions. As a matter of fact, I did: "Do you do weddings?" Not only do they do weddings, they are completely open on the Big Day. The Florist and I started to plan a time for me to come back for a consultation, but we ended up just doing the consultation in the moment. She seemed pretty excited about doing the flowers for our wedding, which definitely got me excited. It's almost like it was meant to be.

Flowerful

I met with a Florist. Finally.

When I got to the flower shop, it wasn't what I expected. There were fake flowers outside (oh, no) and very few actual flowers on display anywhere in the shop. And none of the flowers I saw in my scan of the shop were even remotely tropical (which are pretty much the only flowers I want). At this point, I was feeling more than a little apprehensive. Or maybe skeptical would be a better word.

I sat down with the Florist in her office (a bright yellow, which was slightly reassuring) and she had me fill out a general form. Then we got to the juicy stuff. I showed her a photo of the bouquet I want. She wanted to know how I wanted the bouquet wrapped. Honestly, that hadn't even registered on my list of Important Things, so I told her to keep it simple. She didn't like my idea for bridesmaid bouquets, but her counter-idea was reasonable, so I told her to go with that. Is there a flower girl? I don't know. Corsages for the Moms? I don't know.

I said I had two kinds of flowers I wanted for the Big Day: the ones in the bouquet and one other variety. She had never heard of the other variety and disagreed with my Plan for both the ceremony space and the centerpieces. 

All in all, it was not a hugely successful meeting. But I may have limited options in terms of Florists that will be available for the Big Day in six weeks. We shall see.

A Quote

I have many favorite quotes, seemingly one for every occasion. One that seems to come to mind frequently with my honey (and several other wonderful people in my life) is the following:

"If you want to know who your real friends are, start telling your craziest idea to everyone you meet. Some people will slowly back away from you as if you really are crazy, but others will latch on to your idea and help you any way they can. The people in the second group are your real friends." ~A Brief Guide to World Domination by Chris Guillebeau (p7)

Not only has my honey latched on to all of my crazy ideas (some of them are pretty effing crazy), he has also tried to improve on them and increase their feasibility. He tries to make my dreams a reality, no matter how crazy those dreams may be. Like writing a blog. Or extreme multi-tasking, which is my current order of business. Have I mentioned how great he is?