Tasty, Tasty Changes

As it turns out, our wedding will be a bit more intimate than my honey and I had initially anticipated. While there are emotional moments over who will or will not be sharing the Big Day with us, there is one unanticipated perk of slimming down our number of guests.

Our cake is shrinking. Not in the Alice in Wonderland sense, but because my honey and I don't necessarily want to feel obligated to consume large amounts of leftover Wedding Cake in the less-than-24-hours between when our Wedding ends and our Honeymoon begins. What this means is that the dynamic of our cake is changing. Instead of having more of the chocolate peanut butter than our other two flavors, we now have equal portions of all three (we couldn't stand to eliminate either the strawberries and cream or the red velvet to reduce the total amount of cake). Which means that the top tier of our cake doesn't have to be chocolate peanut butter cake. Which means that our "ceremonial" cake cutting doesn't have to be chocolate peanut butter cake. Which drastically reduces the chances of me getting upset about my honey smearing chocolate peanut butter cake all over me. Which is going to reduce my stress and lead to a much more enjoyable time. Hooray!

I Have A Dream (#3)

With the Wedding looming closer every day (terribly profound, I know) and only 11 days to go, it seems natural that my unconscious would be focusing on the Big Day. This was another dream that was short and to the point: we were all at the Venue on the Big Day. But I didn't have any of my stuff with me; no Shoes, no Dress, no Accessories. Apparently I'd thought I would have enough time to go home and get everything (not a chance--it's a two hour round trip (it's a dream, it doesn't have to make sense)). And then (big surprise) I didn't have time. Which is probably when I woke up, as I don't remember anything past that.

When my Honey got up this morning, he asked me if I'd had a bad dream. I told him I didn't think so and asked why. Apparently I was somewhat panicked when I awakened in the night. So of course, on the Big Day, I will check and re-check to make sure I have everything before we leave.

Tears

At my second Dress fitting, my Mommy wanted to go over a lot of details. Have we confirmed with the Florist? The Cake? How are we doing with getting back our RSVP cards? Have we settled the Suit versus Tux debate?

While I was wearing the Dress, she asked "Do you have your something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue? Obviously you have the something new, that's your dress... Are you borrowing that cake cutter from your friend?" I am, although I don't think a cake cutter necessarily cuts it (sorry, I couldn't resist) in terms of the Something Borrowed. You're supposed to wear the old/new/etc, right? My Mommy had previously offered to let me borrow something that had been my Dad's. It's old, so I was figured I could use it as a two-for-one. I think I'll take her up on wearing it. As soon as the words started to come out of my mouth, water started to well up someplace else. Next thing I knew, someone was handing me a wad of toilet paper to dab at my eyes (There had been a search for a "tissue" and toilet paper was the closest thing anyone could find? In a Wedding Dress Shop? Where people presumably cry with some frequency?). On the other hand, the Big Day should be a happy event, and I would definitely be less emotional about just borrowing the cake cutter. Thankfully, I still have three whole weeks to make a decision about that.

At least the blue is easy. It's the color of my garter.

Focus

With just three weeks to go before the Big Day, my nerves started to get to me today. I may have freaked out a little and gotten stressed out about details. And then I took a deep breath and reminded myself of something: 

As long as I have my Honey, everything else is just a bonus.

So I'm okay.

Shoes!

When I had my Dress fitting and didn't have my Shoes, it sparked something in me: I needed Shoes. Fast. I already had something in mind, but I didn't have anything in the flesh (or in the heel, as might be more fitting (hahaha)). I was planning to wear (new, white) flip flops for the majority of the Big Day (they're going to be under a dress... who's going to notice?) and a pair of heels for a short while. And then I realized that my honey is going to be all dressed up, so maybe I should put on pretty shoes for the whole event, except that heels are not something I want to wear for 6+ hours. 

So, I made a quick trip to my favorite shoe store and ended up purchasing a pair of Shoes. A couple, in fact. I bought a new pair of sneakers to wear on our Honeymoon (in a prettier color than boring black, like my other sneakers) and a pair of heels for the Big Day. I hadn't meant to. I already had heels that I was planning to wear (the same ones I wore in our Engagement Photos, naturally). But this new pair was a better color for matching my accessories, so I had to get them, of course. They're also terribly fitting to wear for a wedding: they say "Love Kills Slowly" in a lovely, color-coordinated script. Ironic, no?

Not Your Typical Love Triangle

One of my favorite classes in college was the Psychology of Relationships. And one of my favorite parts of the class (and there were many) was the Triangular Theory of Love, which was created by Robert Sternberg. According to the theory, there are three different components of Love, and Love can be found in any combination of its three components.

The first component is Intimacy, or a feeling of closeness.
The second component is Passion, or romantic or sexual attraction.
The third component is Commitment, or dedication to making the relationship last.

Companionate Love is Love with Intimacy and Commitment, but lacking Passion.
Fatuous Love is Love with Passion and Intimacy, but lacking Commitment.
Romantic Love is Love with Commitment and Passion, but lacking Intimacy.

The greatest form of Love is called (quite appropriately) Consummate Love. This is the Love that combines all three components: closeness, attraction, and dedication. This is the type of Love we all strive for. The theory states (hypothesizes, really) that every relationship is in a constant state of flux, and that it is natural to go through phases of feeling more or less of each component of Love at different times. The key to making a relationship succeed is recognizing this and accepting it for what it is, instead of abandoning ship, which is what our culture of instant gratification would suggest.

How about a Postscript: Looking back at my relationship history, I can honestly say that I have experienced each of the aforementioned types of Love. My honey may be the first person with whom I have shared Consummate Love, and I look forward to every day we get to share.

The Dress, Uncovered

I got a phone call the other day from a number I didn't recognize. I was greeted by name, but couldn't figure out how the caller was trying to identify herself. I asked her to repeat: this time I got her name, but not how she thought I knew her. The third time's the charm: "HiThisIsFlaviaFromBridesByDemetrios." Of course, who else could it have been? Now that I knew who I was talking to, I was able to move on to the juicy part of the call. My Wedding Dress had arrived and I needed to come in for my first fitting. Their earliest available appointment happened to be on my next day off, so I scheduled the appointment, thanked Flavia (who at some point paused to take a breath), hung up and immediately called my Mommy.

This was an appointment I wanted help with.

On the day of the appointment, I met my Mommy at the store, gave her some things I had picked up for the Big Day, got some things she'd brought for me (pretty typical of a meeting with my Mommy) and we headed into the store.

Now, a first fitting for a Wedding Dress isn't something you can do on the fly. It requires some serious planning. You have to go to the appointment fully outfitted with whatever undergarments you are planning to wear with the Dress, and (obviously) your Shoes. Luckily, Victoria's Secret recently sent me a coupon for a free pair of undies (I don't mind saying that white undies aren't really my style, and I'd rather not have any crazy colors or patterns showing through my white Dress) so I dragged my honey to VS (he's going to see the chosen undies eventually, and I don't want him to think they're lame) and picked out a pair of cute lacy undies in plain old white to wear and not show through my Dress. I didn't think I wanted to wear a bra under the Dress (it has enough padding and cushioning and support to keep everything in place, not that I have so very much to begin with) but I decided to take a strapless bra with me to the appointment. Just in case. 

And then there are the Shoes. Have I purchased Wedding Shoes? I have not. I had been planning to wear flip flops (it's going to be hot in wine country in the summer, and I hate wearing uncomfortable shoes), but my Mommy convinced me that I should have a cute pair of heels, at least for part of the festivities. So I brought both.

Which brings us back to the fitting. Finally. We'd purchased the Dress in the appropriate size, but it still needed to be tweaked a bit. They're taking in a little at the boobs (sorry, Honey), a little at the hips, and a little off the length (why are Wedding Dresses designed for women who are 5'9"? That is not the average height of American women...). Mommy agreed 100% with all of my chosen adjustments. And, of course, she took pictures (that no one gets to see until after the Big Day). And then we get to go back in a couple of weeks to make sure everything's perfect. Sounds pretty perfect so far.