With the help of one of my bridesmaids, I may finally have a handle on bridesmaid dresses. Not that I haven't been looking for them: I've scoured various stores and gone shopping with both my Mommy and one of my bridesmaids (my adorable Niece). I just really haven't been all that impressed by anything I've seen. And then I had a revelation.
This is the age of technology.
Oh yeah. The Internet. I've heard of that. I've even done shopping on it before. And set up a Honeymoon Registry (http://www.honeyfund.com/wedding/bonnieandnick if you're curious).
I've done some perusing of dresses on the Internet and been both underwhelmed and overwhelmed by what I've seen. A couple of trends have emerged regarding the dresses I find most appealing, one from the in-real-life shopping, one from the web, and one from common sense.
Trend #1: Green is good.
(easy to match with my colors... what are my colors, again?)
Trend #2: Chiffon is good.
(not too formal; nice and light for the summer)
Trend #3: Short is good.
(have I mentioned my honey and I are having a summer wedding?)
From here flow a few more important factors when it comes to bridesmaid dresses. I have only two bridesmaids. One of them is my Niece (Friends of the groom, don't even think about it. You have been warned. You will be warned again.) The other is my good friend. They are separated by more than a decade. What looks good on one might not be right for the other, and they likely don't have quite the same taste in dresses. And honestly, bridesmaid dresses aren't the most important part of the Big Day. As long as they look good, that is. Why would anyone want ugly dresses in their wedding photos?
Here's my solution: Give both of my lovely ladies the same color to work with and tell them each to pick out their favorite chiffon short dress. I like it.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Panic Sets In
Our wedding is barely more than two months away, and I'm starting to freak out. Not about getting married--I'm completely confident about that. I'm freaking out because I feel like I have so many things left to do and am literally running out of time. Here's a summary:
For the wedding: We still don't have a florist. Or table coverings. Or wedding favors. Or a guest book. Or a variety of other things I'm sure my Mommy will remind me of when I see her today.
For the honeymoon: I sent money to the travel agent yesterday to confirm our trip, and haven't heard from him since. We booked a flight and got travel insurance, and my honey isn't sure his work will let him go to the countries we're planning to visit.
I also just started graduate school and am trying to find time for class, homework, work, wedding stuff, and eating from time to time. To top it off, we got a final notice from the City that our condo's management company hasn't paid our water bill in three months, so they might turn off our water. Which would save time on showers...
And I'm off! Today's mission: bridesmaid dress shopping with my niece, and maybe figure out this thing called make-up.
For the wedding: We still don't have a florist. Or table coverings. Or wedding favors. Or a guest book. Or a variety of other things I'm sure my Mommy will remind me of when I see her today.
For the honeymoon: I sent money to the travel agent yesterday to confirm our trip, and haven't heard from him since. We booked a flight and got travel insurance, and my honey isn't sure his work will let him go to the countries we're planning to visit.
I also just started graduate school and am trying to find time for class, homework, work, wedding stuff, and eating from time to time. To top it off, we got a final notice from the City that our condo's management company hasn't paid our water bill in three months, so they might turn off our water. Which would save time on showers...
And I'm off! Today's mission: bridesmaid dress shopping with my niece, and maybe figure out this thing called make-up.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Eat Me
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We've all heard it. And that works out just fine for me, because I wholeheartedly enjoy making food. Especially baking. Mmmm. It actually may not work out as well for my honey, who is one of those men who likes to work out. Or something to that effect.
In Cooked, Michael Pollan discusses (what else?) the variety of ways in which we process our food before consumption. He sneaks some useful tidbits about relationships in there, too.
Cooking meat outside over a fire has traditionally been a man's job (going back to the hunter in hunter-gatherer societies), and remains a socially acceptable form of food preparation for men to engage in. The simplest way to get a man into the kitchen is to put him in charge of the meat. (On a side note, my honey has prepared ribs with a dry rub that he'll be cooking for us tonight; I'm pretty excited about it.)
Cooking (and eating cooked food) is, at its core, a social activity. It is a great way to bring people together and reinforce a sense of community at the end of a day. The microwave "meal" is inherently isolating. As is a phenomenon known as "secondary eating" (a fancy term for snacking). Secondary eating is the eating that we do while watching a movie or reading a book or engaged in any other activity as our primary focus. This type of eating greatly increases caloric intake: if we're not paying attention to what we're eating, we eat more.
Since sharing is such an important part of eating, I've been playing with the idea of putting recipe cards in our invitations and compiling a wedding recipe book featuring favorites from our friends and family. I don't know how it would work on a practical level, but I think it would be fun if I can figure it out.
On an unrelated note, there is a new theory emerging about the origins of agriculture. This theory suggests that agriculture did not develop as a way to reliably feed ourselves (the diet of hunter-gatherers could actually have been more nutritious, as it contained a greater variety of foodstuffs), but as a way to reliably intoxicate ourselves. Cheers!
In Cooked, Michael Pollan discusses (what else?) the variety of ways in which we process our food before consumption. He sneaks some useful tidbits about relationships in there, too.
Cooking meat outside over a fire has traditionally been a man's job (going back to the hunter in hunter-gatherer societies), and remains a socially acceptable form of food preparation for men to engage in. The simplest way to get a man into the kitchen is to put him in charge of the meat. (On a side note, my honey has prepared ribs with a dry rub that he'll be cooking for us tonight; I'm pretty excited about it.)
Cooking (and eating cooked food) is, at its core, a social activity. It is a great way to bring people together and reinforce a sense of community at the end of a day. The microwave "meal" is inherently isolating. As is a phenomenon known as "secondary eating" (a fancy term for snacking). Secondary eating is the eating that we do while watching a movie or reading a book or engaged in any other activity as our primary focus. This type of eating greatly increases caloric intake: if we're not paying attention to what we're eating, we eat more.
Since sharing is such an important part of eating, I've been playing with the idea of putting recipe cards in our invitations and compiling a wedding recipe book featuring favorites from our friends and family. I don't know how it would work on a practical level, but I think it would be fun if I can figure it out.
On an unrelated note, there is a new theory emerging about the origins of agriculture. This theory suggests that agriculture did not develop as a way to reliably feed ourselves (the diet of hunter-gatherers could actually have been more nutritious, as it contained a greater variety of foodstuffs), but as a way to reliably intoxicate ourselves. Cheers!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Capturing the Moment
We have a photographer. And a DJ.
My honey and I had discussed photographers already: that was something for me to be in charge of. He wants to focus on having a good time during our wedding, and I'd also like to have a good way to store the memories for later. Like on a disc (or several) full of pictures. After about a week of emailing back and forth with a Photographer, we agreed to set up an in-person meeting to make sure it was a good fit. We sat down with her in her studio (not what I was expecting--a plain storefront tucked in the corner of an industrial strip mall near a hospital) to discuss what we were looking for in a Photographer. My honey and I are both concerned that too many posed photos would take away from the actual enjoyment of the event, and that we'd much prefer candid shots. The Photographer described this as Capturing the Moment and said that those also happen to be her favorites. Then she wanted to know more about us as a couple and about our plans for the Big Day.
The Photographer asked "Band or DJ?"
And my honey said "We have a DJ."
I turned to him and said "We do?"
Apparently so. He'd wanted one of his friends to DJ for us, but the friend had said he was unable due to a prior commitment. That was the last I'd heard until we were sitting with the Photographer. The DJ's other plans had fallen through, so he would be happy to DJ for us. Okay, cool.
I think that qualifies as two birds with one stone. Or close enough.
My honey and I had discussed photographers already: that was something for me to be in charge of. He wants to focus on having a good time during our wedding, and I'd also like to have a good way to store the memories for later. Like on a disc (or several) full of pictures. After about a week of emailing back and forth with a Photographer, we agreed to set up an in-person meeting to make sure it was a good fit. We sat down with her in her studio (not what I was expecting--a plain storefront tucked in the corner of an industrial strip mall near a hospital) to discuss what we were looking for in a Photographer. My honey and I are both concerned that too many posed photos would take away from the actual enjoyment of the event, and that we'd much prefer candid shots. The Photographer described this as Capturing the Moment and said that those also happen to be her favorites. Then she wanted to know more about us as a couple and about our plans for the Big Day.
The Photographer asked "Band or DJ?"
And my honey said "We have a DJ."
I turned to him and said "We do?"
Apparently so. He'd wanted one of his friends to DJ for us, but the friend had said he was unable due to a prior commitment. That was the last I'd heard until we were sitting with the Photographer. The DJ's other plans had fallen through, so he would be happy to DJ for us. Okay, cool.
I think that qualifies as two birds with one stone. Or close enough.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Stuff
My honey and I decided we wanted to do a Honeymoon Registry instead of a Gift Registry. Gift Registries are basically just Stuff. Believe me when I say that we don't need any more Stuff. We already have plenty of Stuff. In fact, I spend a significant amount of time trying to reduce the amount of Stuff in our home. Which never seems to work as well as I would like it to. We're like Stuff magnets.
What we don't have is a Honeymoon. We'd like to have one of those. I mean we'd really like to. We want to go on a Once-In-A-Lifetime kind of Honeymoon (which I guess is what all Honeymoons should be; you don't plan on having multiple occasions for a Honeymoon).
My honey and I enjoy watching the Discovery Channel. We're big fans of Shark Week. We agreed that at some point, we'd like to make our way to South Africa to see the great white sharks breach at Seal Island. Our Honeymoon seemed like the perfect opportunity. The downside to traveling to South Africa? It's not an inexpensive place to visit, and neither of us exactly has high-paying jobs. Hence, the Honeymoon Registry.
Another snag in the planning: our travel agent said No. There was no possible way for the travel agency to do a Honeymoon Registry. I might have started crying at this point. The travel agent said (sympathetically?) "You were really counting on that." Clearly. See previous comments regarding Stuff. After I got home from my visit with the travel agent, I talked to my honey and my mom, both of whom had the same brilliant suggestion: "can't you just set up a Honeymoon Registry online?" Oh, yeah. Problem solved.
What we don't have is a Honeymoon. We'd like to have one of those. I mean we'd really like to. We want to go on a Once-In-A-Lifetime kind of Honeymoon (which I guess is what all Honeymoons should be; you don't plan on having multiple occasions for a Honeymoon).
My honey and I enjoy watching the Discovery Channel. We're big fans of Shark Week. We agreed that at some point, we'd like to make our way to South Africa to see the great white sharks breach at Seal Island. Our Honeymoon seemed like the perfect opportunity. The downside to traveling to South Africa? It's not an inexpensive place to visit, and neither of us exactly has high-paying jobs. Hence, the Honeymoon Registry.
Another snag in the planning: our travel agent said No. There was no possible way for the travel agency to do a Honeymoon Registry. I might have started crying at this point. The travel agent said (sympathetically?) "You were really counting on that." Clearly. See previous comments regarding Stuff. After I got home from my visit with the travel agent, I talked to my honey and my mom, both of whom had the same brilliant suggestion: "can't you just set up a Honeymoon Registry online?" Oh, yeah. Problem solved.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Another Book Review (#4)
I'd like to preface this one by stating that this book has some good insights, even if the title is downright awful. I bought the book a long time ago, after a bad breakup (which it completely reaffirmed). The title is (deep breath) Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. That being said, my honey isn't Mr. Good Enough. He's Mr. Pretty Damn Great. If every guy were like him, we wouldn't need a book like this (actually, we would, because some women would be dissatisfied regardless), although it does have some interesting ideas anyway:
Be realistic. Many women today have "a heightened sense of entitlement that previous generations didn't have. Our mothers might have wished, but certainly didn't expect, that their husbands would constantly want to please them, be attracted to them, entertain them, enjoy sharing all their interests, and be the most charming person in the room. Instead, they knew that marriage involved failing health, aging, boredom, periods of stress and disconnection, annoying habits, issues with children, and hardships and misunderstandings of all sorts. But many women today seem to be looking for an idealized spiritual union instead of a realistic marital partnership" (131).
Be positive. "In successful relationships, couples appreciate each other's good points instead of focusing on the flaws" (134).
Be satisfied. "The people who got married younger, who knew how to compromise and negotiate and sustain a marriage, are likely less demanding than those who felt they couldn't find anyone good enough. They tend to be better partners and parents. They're probably much more enjoyable to live with over the course of fifty years. All the more reason not only to seek out a satisficer [satisficer: a person who keeps something that is good enough versus continuing to search for something that is perfect], but to be one yourself" (154).
Be accepting. "It's not about changing the other person; it's about accepting things about the other person that you'd like to change, but can't" (175). Obviously this doesn't apply to things like drug addiction--that's just crazy talk.
Be understanding. "Even our best friends don't meet all our needs. That's why we have many close friends, not just one. So why does a husband have to be an überfriend who meets every need and shares every interest? Who can handle that kind of pressure?" (207).
Be domestic. "What makes for a good marriage isn't necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship. Once you're married, it's not so much about whom you want to go on a tropical vacation with; it's about whom you want to run a household with. Marriage isn't a constant passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane nonprofit business" (227). Now doesn't that sound appealing.
Be happy. "Married people are happier overall" (243).
Be enough. "Husbands are life partners, not life savers. A full 50 percent of marital satisfaction is up to you, but many women don't see it that way" (249).
Be aware. "Research has shown that every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' or disagreement that they will never resolve. Instead the successful couples learn how to manage the disagreements and live life 'around' them--to love in spite of their areas of difference.... If we switch partners, we'll just get ten new areas of disagreement" (275).
Believe. "Soul mates are a beautiful notion to believe in once it happens. But it's a dangerous thing to believe in before you've found the person you've decided to spend your life with. In reality, there are many people we could be happy with--it's just that your soul develops in different ways with different people" (286).
Be realistic. Many women today have "a heightened sense of entitlement that previous generations didn't have. Our mothers might have wished, but certainly didn't expect, that their husbands would constantly want to please them, be attracted to them, entertain them, enjoy sharing all their interests, and be the most charming person in the room. Instead, they knew that marriage involved failing health, aging, boredom, periods of stress and disconnection, annoying habits, issues with children, and hardships and misunderstandings of all sorts. But many women today seem to be looking for an idealized spiritual union instead of a realistic marital partnership" (131).
Be positive. "In successful relationships, couples appreciate each other's good points instead of focusing on the flaws" (134).
Be satisfied. "The people who got married younger, who knew how to compromise and negotiate and sustain a marriage, are likely less demanding than those who felt they couldn't find anyone good enough. They tend to be better partners and parents. They're probably much more enjoyable to live with over the course of fifty years. All the more reason not only to seek out a satisficer [satisficer: a person who keeps something that is good enough versus continuing to search for something that is perfect], but to be one yourself" (154).
Be accepting. "It's not about changing the other person; it's about accepting things about the other person that you'd like to change, but can't" (175). Obviously this doesn't apply to things like drug addiction--that's just crazy talk.
Be understanding. "Even our best friends don't meet all our needs. That's why we have many close friends, not just one. So why does a husband have to be an überfriend who meets every need and shares every interest? Who can handle that kind of pressure?" (207).
Be domestic. "What makes for a good marriage isn't necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship. Once you're married, it's not so much about whom you want to go on a tropical vacation with; it's about whom you want to run a household with. Marriage isn't a constant passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane nonprofit business" (227). Now doesn't that sound appealing.
Be happy. "Married people are happier overall" (243).
Be enough. "Husbands are life partners, not life savers. A full 50 percent of marital satisfaction is up to you, but many women don't see it that way" (249).
Be aware. "Research has shown that every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' or disagreement that they will never resolve. Instead the successful couples learn how to manage the disagreements and live life 'around' them--to love in spite of their areas of difference.... If we switch partners, we'll just get ten new areas of disagreement" (275).
Believe. "Soul mates are a beautiful notion to believe in once it happens. But it's a dangerous thing to believe in before you've found the person you've decided to spend your life with. In reality, there are many people we could be happy with--it's just that your soul develops in different ways with different people" (286).
Sunday, May 26, 2013
The Sweetest!
We've all heard that the third time's the charm. At least this time it turned out to be true.
Our third cake tasting took place in an unlikely location: a coffee shop. Believe it or not, this particular coffee shop has actually won awards for its wedding cakes. But so had the other cakeries we'd been to. It had excellent reviews. But so had the other cakeries. The pictures on their website looked great, but so had the other cakeries. They had their prices listed online, and they were the only one.
And the prices didn't seem that scary. And that was a little scary. But it never hurts to taste the cake, and so we went.
We tried fifteen cakes, and they were all good--even the carrot cake, and we don't usually like carrot cake. My honey and I were able to agree on three flavors that were our favorites: chocolate with peanut butter filling, red velvet (with no nuts, per my honey's request), and strawberries and cream. Presumably these are all different enough that everyone will be able to find an agreeable flavor. And if not, well then that's just too bad for them.
There will be delicious buttercream and no fondant. And fresh flowers on the cake (assuming I can find a florist, which I can). And we even got a discount because my honey's in the military. Score!
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