All Dolled Up

Everyone who knows me, knows that I dye my hair. Actually, I get it done by someone else, but that's not the point. The point is, I went to my stylist yesterday for the first time since getting engaged. If possible, she's even more excited about the upcoming wedding than my mom is. 

Let me explain: I've been going to the same stylist for way longer than I've been with my honey. Or anyone else, with the exception of my mom and one or two friends. We go way back. So that's one reason she's so excited. The other is that I think she's trying to live vicariously; she and her boyfriend have been together for nearly a decade, and he has yet to pop the question (I accidentally typed "poop" there--ha). I don't know how to break it to her that it's doubtful whether that will actually end up happening with her beau, but that's a whole other can of worms, so we won't go into detail on that.

Of course she wanted to talk about wedding hair and wedding dresses. You can't decide what to do with your hair until you know what you're wearing, apparently. As much as we could plan at this juncture (without the benefit of having a dress) was side bangs and down-ish and pulled to the side. But her plans didn't stop there.

She pulled out her calendar to block off my wedding date (as requested), and kept it out. Apparently, I need to get the color done the Tuesday before. That makes sense to me. And possibly a Brazilian Blowout on the bangs and wispy side pieces. Maybe. I still haven't agreed to that part. Scribble all that into her calendar. Two days before the big day, she wants me to do some other things that I truly don't understand. False eyelashes (I actually really like the ones I have). Spray tan (two things: I have never in my life gotten or even thought about getting a spray tan, and I'm getting married near the end of summer, and will at that time be naturally tanned to a healthy crisp shade of brown... or several shades). Hair extensions (my hair isn't super thin, I think I'll be fine). 

"And you have to thread your eyebrows."

"What? No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. If I have to hold you down and do it myself, I will."

"We'll talk about it later."

What's Cookin'

Our menu tasting was today at 2pm, and enough time has finally passed (4 hours, give or take) that I can think about food without feeling queasy. Don't get me wrong: the food wasn't bad. Exactly the opposite. I don't usually eat to the point of illness--but I don't usually go food tasting for my wedding, either, so there you go.

My nightmare food experience did not come to pass. The restaurant ("bistro") where we were didn't even have an outdoor dining option: it was hyper-trendy, dimly lit, with glass bubbles hanging from the ceiling and pages from an old book glued helter-skelter over the windows. We were virtually the only patrons, and the food was intense. We waded our way through two appetizers, two salads, and three entrees. Appetizers: check and check. Salads: one yes, one no (do roasted potatoes belong in a "spring greens" salad? I have my doubts). Entrees: two that we virtually scraped the plates, one that elicited a "meh" (perfect--the goal was two). The only thing we weren't decided on were the sides (mashed potatoes and...? We ended up crossing our fingers and going with something we didn't actually try).

After we were stuffed to the gills, the chef (at least I think that's who he was; he brought each of the dishes out with a detailed explanation and a flourish, but it was hard to tell through the Saint Paddy's Day green pseudo-suit shirt) asked how everything was. What were our decisions? Was there anything we wanted to change prior to the big day? As a matter of fact, there was something we (read: I) wanted to change. If we're doing a fruit skewer (spoiler) that includes grapes, they need to be seedless grapes. Pseudo-suit skipped a beat before telling me that it can be tricky to find organic, seedless grapes. I just stared at him. His next statement was "I'm sure we can special order some."

I'm not a Bridezilla, I swear. Seed-ful grapes are just never appropriate in a fruit skewer. Ever.

I Have A Dream

Last night, I had my first wedding planning dream. Hopefully also my last. Here's what happened:

We were at a restaurant for our food tasting (which is, probably not coincidentally, today). It was a lovely outdoor restaurant; we were seated at a table on a grassy area below several arches and lights. A waitress came to take our order. After I told her something, she disappeared. I realized the waitress should probably be informed of why we're there, so I went to find her. I told her the situation and she started to cry, telling me that she'd already put in the order and there was no way to change it. Then she pointed to twenty other people standing nearby who were apparently also there to do pre-wedding tastings. Then I woke up.

Weird. I hope it doesn't mean that our tasting today is going to be a disaster. 

I'll get back to you on that.

Detail Oriented

Here's another post about my wonderful, amazing Mommy. I love her dearly, but sometimes she gets a little over-excited. For example, I once casually mentioned that I thought it would be neat to learn how to play guitar. That year on Christmas, I unwrapped a guitar, complete with a how-to cd (this was a total bust; as it happens, I have negative amounts of musical talent).

A little backpedaling: My honey and I have booked a venue. It ultimately came down to the phrase "I trust you." He still hasn't actually been there yet, although he's seen pictures. It's perfect, I promise. One of the things I especially like about the location is how casual it is: wine-tasting patio by day, wedding hotspot at night. During the day, they have adorable wooden tables and chairs, which apparently go bye-bye during weddings in favor of the more wedding-y 60" round tables. I haven't seen it decked out with round tables, but I really like the wood ones. 

Anyhoo... I was discussing this detail with Mom, and she agreed that the wood tables are fantastic, no tablecloths needed. I suggested that table runners might be a nice touch to dress them up just a touch.

Two days later, I got an email from Mom with a link to a table runner website (there really are websites for everything, apparently), including the name of the one that she thinks will look best with our colors. This is even more impressive given that all I gave her for colors are the kinds of flowers I want.

The scary thing is, I think she might have nailed it.

A Book Review (#1)

As I've said before, I enjoy reading. A lot. And not just chick flick novels (although I have read my share of those, too). I also read a variety of other things, some of which may be relevant to my current situation, so over time you'll probably notice quite a few book reviews here, beginning with The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

I got this book long before I got engaged, while trying to improve not a relationship, but my outlook on life. One of the key messages of the book is that the best way to make other people happy is to be happy yourself. But how to become happier?

A sense of growth or progress is essential to happiness. My honey and I definitely both feel this way, even if we haven't necessarily discussed it in exactly those terms. When we're in a settled routine, we get bored: work, dinner, television, blah, bed, repeat. This can get really tricky given that we (along with a majority of human beings everywhere) need to work in order to sustain ourselves. So what we have to do is put in the effort to change it up, even if that means something as simple as going on a movie and dinner "date" on Friday night. 

Similarly, it is important to make time for things you enjoy (like reading a book or writing a blog, for example).

And while you're enjoying something, why not laugh a little? Laughter may not quite be the best medicine, but it does have real benefits. In addition to promoting social bonding, it can actually lower stress, including levels of stress hormones and blood pressure. So maybe laughing can improve the health of an individual as well as the health of a relationship .

I will be the first person to say that I'm in a great relationship, but we're still not perfect. Inevitably, some sort of tension will develop in even the best relationships. The key is knowing what to do when this happens. "Experts say that denying bad feelings intensifies them; acknowledging bad feelings allows good feelings to return" (100). Translation: when you're upset, don't try to hide it. But at the same time, try not to dwell on it. That's probably not the best solution either. Acknowledge and move on--problem solved.

It's also important to remember that we are talking about a relationship here, and a relationship generally involves two people, so we need to take the other person's needs and desires into consideration as well as our own. So I'll leave you with this tidbit: "Studies show that people's basic psychological needs include the need to feel secure, to feel good at what they do, to be loved, to feel connected to others, and to have a strong sense of control" (170).

An Observation

Many people seem to be equally interested in my upcoming nuptials and in my upcoming bachelorette party.

The Planning Commences

"Honey, you can be as involved or not involved as you want to be in planning our wedding." Except the dress. No boys allowed for that one. Obviously.

Right away, he told me he didn't care about flowers or decorations, as long as we have a fun wedding. That works for me. I know what flowers I like, and I can pick colors and decorations from there. 

Band or DJ? We agree that a DJ would be more fun, and he has a friend who's a DJ. Check that one off the list--easy.

Plated dinner or buffet? Buffets are less formal, and therefore more fun. That was easy, too.

Date? Check.

Honeymoon spot? Check.

Location? This one isn't so easy. We only have about six months before our date (spoiler), so a lot of venues have already been booked. I want to get a location locked in as soon as possible so we don't end up with someplace boring or tacky. My honey can only look at so many pictures of venues before getting bored and apathetic, but still wants to participate in the decision-making process. I feel like I'm starting to nag, which I hate just as much as I'm sure he does. My options: nag until something gets done (unappealing), make the decision on my own (plausible, but don't want the honey to feel left out), wait and possibly get stuck with a second-rate location (also unappealing), hope his attention span for venue photos is higher after a good night's sleep or winning at a friendly game of cribbage (crossing fingers that this works)...