One of my favorite classes in college was the Psychology of Relationships. And one of my favorite parts of the class (and there were many) was the Triangular Theory of Love, which was created by Robert Sternberg. According to the theory, there are three different components of Love, and Love can be found in any combination of its three components.
The first component is Intimacy, or a feeling of closeness.
The second component is Passion, or romantic or sexual attraction.
The third component is Commitment, or dedication to making the relationship last.
Companionate Love is Love with Intimacy and Commitment, but lacking Passion.
Fatuous Love is Love with Passion and Intimacy, but lacking Commitment.
Romantic Love is Love with Commitment and Passion, but lacking Intimacy.
The greatest form of Love is called (quite appropriately) Consummate Love. This is the Love that combines all three components: closeness, attraction, and dedication. This is the type of Love we all strive for. The theory states (hypothesizes, really) that every relationship is in a constant state of flux, and that it is natural to go through phases of feeling more or less of each component of Love at different times. The key to making a relationship succeed is recognizing this and accepting it for what it is, instead of abandoning ship, which is what our culture of instant gratification would suggest.
How about a Postscript: Looking back at my relationship history, I can honestly say that I have experienced each of the aforementioned types of Love. My honey may be the first person with whom I have shared Consummate Love, and I look forward to every day we get to share.
Ahhhhhhhh . . .
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