1: The short and sweet version. This is the version you tell the mailman, the UPS guy (the good one, not the one who couldn't find your house), and other acquaintances.
Shortly after getting in bed on Wednesday night, I started having contractions. Hubby and I drove to the hospital and 16 hours later, the doctor put our new Baby Boy on my chest.
Actually, there's probably an even shorter version that would work for casual acquaintances: finally had the baby! He's healthy, I'm healthy, and we're all figuring this out!
2: The touchy-feely version. If your friends haven't asked for intimate details about your cervix, DO NOT tell them. They don't want to know. In my case, this was actually a fairly small number of people. I guess I'm lucky the UPS guy didn't mention it.
After several weeks of me being ready (especially once our due date came and went without Baby Boy), I finally went into labor on Wednesday night. Hubby drove me to the hospital in the middle of the night, which was great because a) no traffic and b) a fox crossed the road in front of us, and we'd agreed early on that we wanted a fox-themed nursery, so that was neat. Maybe we should do a Yeti theme if we decide to go for baby #2... Anyhoo, back to the story. After awhile in the hospital without much progress, I decided I was ready to stop being in pain. I was shaking from adrenaline and trying not to cry by the time the cute anasthesiologist got the epidural set up and my left leg turned into pudding from the drugs. Once I was able to calm down, we waited for awhile. When the nurse came in to check on me in the afternoon, she said "push" and I started trying to push even though I couldn't feel a damn thing. I'm glad I got the epidural even though it wasn't part of my birth plan, because it allowed me to relax enough to stop (inadvertently) fighting what my body was trying to do. Once I pushed out Baby Boy and Hubby cut the cord (which was the main thing on his birth plan, along with raiding the hospital's hubby snack area), someone put the little boy on my chest and said "here's your baby" and I said "holy shit."
3: The juicy version. This one you share with your closest family, friends, and anyone who works in the medical field. Medical peeps love hearing all the gory details. (Warning: gory details ahead. Read at your own peril.)
Hubby and I got in bed Wednesday night, and I had my first contraction at 10:41. We left for the hospital at midnight, when they were 9 minutes apart and we were sure it was baby time. By the time we got to the hospital, the contractions were 5 minutes apart and my cervix was 4cm dilated. The doc came in and broke my water to help move things along. I alternated between laboring on a birth ball in the shower (which felt awesome except for the terrible water pressure... highly recommend) and in various positions on the bed. Hubby slept for a couple hours. By the time the nursing staff switched out for the day crew, I was still only at 6cm and ready for drugs. I wanted to avoid an epidural, based on what I'd read about its effect on labor and recovery times, but whatever they pushed through my IV was bad. It made me dizzy and loopy and didn't touch the pain. So that sucked. And once it wore off, I said yes to the terrifying epidural (have I mentioned I don't do well with needles?). Then we waited. Not being able to feel much of anything, I took a nap, which helped a lot. At 3:30, the nurse decided it was time to check my hooha again. She poked around and called to Hubby: "do you want to see the head?" Then she told me to push once, for shits and giggles. Then we waited for the doc to finish another delivery. When she finally showed up, we did several more rounds of pushing until I somehow pushed out a baby at 4:07 Thursday afternoon. And I didn't feel a damn thing. Hubby cut the cord, just like he'd wanted to. Then the baby nurses sucked a bunch of goo out of baby's lungs. Then someone put him on my chest and said "here's your baby" and I said "holy shit."
This didn't pop up on FB - was that intentional?? Oh Well - Love You All 3!!!!
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