Pretzel cravings

The cravings gods are smiling on me today. Mama wants pretzels, which means mama has to make pretzels (or drive an hour to the nearest mall for a warm, chewy soft pretzel). I found a recipe that called for a cup of milk and, lo and behold, we had almost exactly a cup of milk left. Woohoo! Pretzels, here we come!

First, I warmed my milk in the microwave to 110 degrees, give or take. I poured it into the bowl of my stand mixer with the sugar and yeast and left it alone until the yeast activated. Somehow I resisted the urge to stand over it Harry Potter style and repeat "activate!" over and over until the yeasties complied... 

Once the yeasties were ready, I added the flour and salt and plugged in my stand mixer. Thanks to the kick-ass mixer my mommy got me for Christmas last year (after I called her in a panic on Thanksgiving when my old mixer crapped out after 8 years), the dough was mixed and kneaded and pulling away from the sides like a good little dough in no time. 

I oiled up the dough ball, put it back in the bowl with a warm towel to keep the yeasties happy and multiplying, and watched an episode of Property Brothers while the yeasties did their thing. After one full Property Brothers (an hour), I checked on my dough ball, and it was fluffy and ready to go. 

I boiled some water and baking soda to dip my dough in (did you know that's how pretzels become pretzel-y?) and started rolling my dough into cute little pretzel shapes. 

After a few rolls falling apart on me, I said "screw it; mama wants pretzels!" and decided I didn't give a rat's ass how they looked as long as they tasted nice and pretzel-y. So I switched to plopping balls of dough in my baking soda water and tossing them on my baking sheet. They came out tasting exactly how I wanted them, even if they weren't necessarily food blog pretty. 

The moral of the story here is that if you have the patience, make your pretzels whatever shape makes you happy. If you want a quick pretzel fix, do as I do and know that they will taste just as good.