kindness

Last week, my boys and I were at story time. This particular story time includes a craft, and the crafts are not always age-appropriate for the toddlers who typically attend story time. I was holding my infant in one arm while sitting with my toddler between my knees and trying to put together the pieces of the "puppet" he was making. 

None of it was working and we were all getting frustrated, when another mom appeared at my shoulder and offered to hold my baby so I could spend some time focused on bonding with my toddler--her daughter was older enough to do the craft without assistance. I hesitated for half a second before handing my baby to this mom who I'd met once before and whose name I couldn't begin to remember. She spent the next ten minutes rocking and cooing to my baby. 

When I stepped over to retrieve him, I thanked her with tears in my eyes. 

She brushed off her gesture by claiming that she was done having kids but wanted a "baby fix." She pretended not to see how moved I was by her kindness. 

I didn't know it, but this was exactly what I needed in that moment. It was so simple, and it cost her nothing, yet it changed me. I vowed to try to be kinder, too, both to others and to myself. 

Why I Don't Cover Up When Breastfeeding In Public

I've always been modest when it comes to showing my body. Don't get me wrong, I wear short shorts and tank tops in the summer. But I try to keep it classy. No pretending that sheer tights are really leggings and/or can be worn instead of pants.

So when it came to planning how I was going to feed Baby, I wasn't quite sure what I would be comfortable doing. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, so I expected to carry around one of those cute breastfeeding covers that doubles as an infinity scarf. Baby is here, and I don't own one. And I probably I wouldn't use it if I did.

One of my defining breastfeeding moments happened in Target. (I feel like everything happens at Target. I love Target. Anyway...) Baby and I were most of the way through the store, and he decided he was HUNGRY. So I pulled down my shirt and we breastfed in the toothpaste aisle in Target.

Because that's what Baby needed, and the hell with anyone else.

Although I will say the furniture section is a much more comfortable and relaxing place to breastfeed than the toothpaste aisle. If Baby can wait that long. If we're being real, the backseat of the car is even better. Better for me, that is. What's better for Baby is whatever fills his little hungry belly faster, so that's what we're going to do. And if that means a few strangers see some boob, so be it. They're not really even my boobs; I didn't get them until Baby, so I'm pretty sure they belong to him. And for the foreseeable future, they're his whenever he decides it's boob time.

How to de-boogie a baby

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Because Hubby works in a hospital and also goes to school, he's exposed to a lot of cooties. Which means Baby and I are exposed to a lot of cooties. A lot meaning we had a house full of sickies six weeks ago and we have a house full of sickies now. Fan-freaking-tastic. Which means I've been getting a lot of practice de-snotting Baby.

Let me tell you: not all boogies are created equal. And you can't really pretend like they are. You need different boogie tools for different boogies.

Remember that boogie bulb everyone told you to steal from the hospital when your baby was born? They can keep it.

When you need to suck humongous boogies out of a tiny baby nose, you need a snot sucker that a) you can see into and b) uses more force than that little bulb thingie inflating. Yes, the NoseFrida is more expensive, but it is totally worth the price! It's so rewarding to see boogies get sucked out of Baby's nose... and he loves it. Which may have more to do with me calling myself a big weirdo in a goofy voice than the actual snot sucking...

Is it weird that I enjoy getting Baby's boogies?

But I digress. You also need an Oogie Bear for smaller boogies. Think of it like an ice cream scooper, but for boogies. Mmmm, ice cream. I'll have to make some once the cooties subside and my taste buds can thoroughly enjoy things again...

How do you feel about de-snotting other human beings? Are there any other tools you think I need to add to my boogie-fighting arsenal?

Lactation Cookies

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For Christmas, we got sick. Hubby, Baby Boy and I all had colds. It was pretty rough. Getting sick while breastfeeding means a lot of asking "can I take this medication?" And even when it's a "yes," it's really "yes, but..." And the "but" is almost always that it decreases milk supply. Considering that I don't pump and therefore don't have extra mom milk in the freezer, I was concerned about keeping my little man well-fed while trying to clean out my sinuses. Despite my best efforts taking meds sparingly and keeping my water consumption up, I noticed that my milk machines were looking less full than before. So I decided to step up my game and see if lactation cookies are all they're cracked up to be.

They are. I made the cookies last night and had one before bed. I had another one with breakfast (not for me, for the baby). Not only are my milk machines back in high production, but these taste just like my favorite oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with an added hint of peanut butter. Does it get any better? 

This afternoon I wrote myself a reminder on the bag:

The recipe I used was basically half of this recipe from Simplistically Living, with a few modifications, mostly to simplify the process.

Here's what I used:
1 tbsp flaxseed meal
2 tbsp water
1 stick of butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 splash of vanilla
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 tbsp brewer's yeast
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
3/4 cup mini chocolate chips

Combine water and flaxseed meal in a small bowl. Mix butter, sugars, egg, and vanilla in a stand mixer (have I mentioned how much I love my KitchenAid stand mixer?). Add watered flaxseed meal and peanut butter and mix again. Add brewer's yeast, flour, baking soda, and cinnamon and mix again. Add oats and chocolate chips and stir (by hand) to combine. Drop by the spoonful on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes or until cooked through.

New Mom, New Mom, What Do You Do?

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Last night, Hubby came home from work. I gave him a kiss and asked him about his day. After giving me the gory details, he asked me, "what do you do all day? I'm not trying to criticize; I genuinely want to know." I believed him. I've told him that being a new mom isn't easy and doesn't leave me with a lot of free time. 

He always asks me if I'm "sleeping when the baby sleeps." At night, yes. During the day, no. Then what am I doing when the baby sleeps? I'm running to the basement to do a load of laundry. I'm running back to check on the baby. I'm running outside to get firewood. I'm running back to check on the baby. I'm running into the kitchen to find something to eat. I'm running back to check on the baby.

And when the baby isn't sleeping? There is no "I." There is only "us." When the baby isn't sleeping, we do baby things. We breastfeed. We read books. We breastfeed. We do tummy time. We breastfeed. We sing songs. We breastfeed. We have baby dance parties. We breastfeed. We go for walks. 

Sometimes we even breastfeed while we're reading or singing or walking around the neighborhood. Yeah, we have mad skills.

And that just about sums up a perfect day as the new mom of an exclusively breastfed baby.

And the baby just pooped himself awake, which means this post has reached its end. Back to doing baby things.

The Great Diaper Debate

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As a new parent, there are so many decisions you have to make, including whether to use cloth or disposable diapers. If you're considering cloth diapers, there are a few things to consider. 

Cloth
The good: less expensive, better for the environment
The bad: endless laundry
The ugly: you have to try to remove the poop before washing

Disposable
The good: more convenient
The bad: endless trash
The ugly: diaper rash

For Baby Love, I've decided to use both cloth and disposable diapers. We didn't start using cloth diapers right away--they didn't fit until he was about 9 pounds. Now, we use cloth diapers when we're at home and disposable for going out and for going to bed (they seem more absorbent, which means fewer overnight diaper changes, which means more sleep for me). And I'd rather be able to throw out dirty diapers in public versus saving them in a wet bag and bringing them home. We do have this wet bag at home, and it's great for keeping diaper smells and messes contained.

Not all cloth diapers are created equal. I have two brands that I like, Charlie Banana, which seem to be the premium brand, and LBB, which is cheaper and doesn't have as nice of fabric but is similar in style. I've also tried Apple Cheeks, which are more expensive and you have to buy in two sizes (the first two I mentioned are one size and adjust with a bunch of snaps). I was given one GroVia diaper, too, that I haven't used because you have to line dry it, and who has time for that nonsense? There are other brands, but I haven't tried them. Are there any that you especially do (or don't) like?

If you want to try cloth diapers but baby poop grosses you out, you can buy disposable liners to keep the poop off of the diaper. I'm not at all bothered by baby poop (I'm not at all bothered by my baby's poop), so I have no idea how well they work. 

The most important thing to remember for all baby decisions is that the only person who can decide what is the right thing for your family... is YOU. And what's right for your family now might not be right next week. And that's okay.

Reading to Babies

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We've all heard that reading out loud to babies and children is good for them. I remember my dad reading to me every night before bed when I was growing up--he'd even take whatever book we were reading with him on business trips and read to me over the phone if he couldn't be there in person. My mom would read to me, too. They had different styles of reading and different tastes in books. Reading was a huge part of my childhood, and I believe reading has had a huge impact on who I am. So, naturally, I wanted to be able to give that same experience to my children. I decided to start right away with Baby Boy. Being that he's just a month old, I figure that it doesn't really matter what I'm reading to him as long as I'm reading him something.

The first thing I read aloud to Baby Boy was this scientific paper. As soon as we finished that, I started reading him one of my favorites:

Harry Potter was something my dad read to me and we both loved. I'm sure this will not be the last time I read it to Baby Boy. 

What are your favorite books for kiddos?

The science of cosleeping

When Hubby and I were getting ready for Baby Boy's arrival, we built the crib in our room so he would be close for night feedings and such. Once we got him home, I realized that even getting out of bed to get the baby to feed him and put him back in the crib after was too much effort to be going through every hour or two all night. I wasn't planning on cosleeping; it just happened. 

Like most moms in the US, I'd heard about how dangerous cosleeping is for babies. But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to know the science behind this blanket statement that I should never fall asleep with baby. Lucky for me, I found a really interesting paper that summarized current research on just that topic. And what it said wasn't at all what I expected. (The whole article, Mother-Infant Cosleeping, Breastfeeding and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome: What Biological Anthropology Has Discovered About Normal Infant Sleep and Pediatric Sleep Medicine by J.J. McKenna, H.L. Ball, and L.T. Gettler (2007) can be found here). If 24 pages from an anthropology journal is more than you'd care to read, here are some highlights:

Our (Western) society has an abnormal reliance on "expert advice" that leads people, in this case parents, to trust the advice of others above their own instincts. Research has shown that the rate of SIDS is much lower in cultures where moms and babies typically breastfeed and cosleep. 

A baby's whole world revolves around mom, specifically her ability to nourish him by providing breastmilk. There is a direct relationship between cosleeping and breastfeeding, specifically cosleeping moms and babies do more breastfeeding.

Separating mom and baby for sleep is more about our cultural desire for babies to become independent than what is best for baby. However, one study showed that children who sleep with their parents are less demanding of their parents' attention (read: more independent) while playing than children who don't.

Studies in other primates have shown that separating babies from their moms leads to all sorts of physical and emotional problems.

"Many researchers believe that arousal deficiency--the inability of an infant to arouse and breathe following an otherwise 'normal' breathing pause or apnea--may play an important role in SIDS." Moms and babies who cosleep are more sensitive to each other waking up and tend to experience less deep sleep, which is the stage of sleep when babies are most likely to have a pause in breathing. Being near mom's breathing may help stimulate baby's breathing and help prevent SIDS.

Even though, like me, most new moms don't plan on cosleeping, 70% of new parents do it at least occasionally. There are lots of reasons for cosleeping: it makes breastfeeding easier, it's enjoyable to spend time close to baby, it's comforting to keep baby close to keep an eye on his health and safety, it's easier to calm baby when he's fussy, etc. What's your favorite reason?