Getting in touch with yourself

This post may contain affiliate links, which means that you're helping fund my explorations if you make a purchase through these links at no cost to you. Thank you!

I have recently been on a journey of self-discovery. To begin, I discovered that I had lost my Self somewhere around the birth of my first son, from which time on I have been 24/7 fulfilling the role of Mama with very few exceptions. I love my sons to the ends of the Earth and forever, and I have realized that that means providing them with a healthy role model. To be the best Mama, I must also be the best Me. To be the best Me, I've started seeing a therapist, but more importantly, I've started doing things for myself again. I've started coloring my hair again. I've started reading again. I've discovered an easier way to keep track of what I've been reading in an app called Goodreads.

During this weird time in our history when “social distancing” is our new normal, why not spend some quality time with yourself? If you’re not 100% happy with your relationship with yourself, there will never be a better time to get in touch with your Self than when you’re not supposed to touch anyone. Here are a few books to get you started:

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. If you’re not sure where to start, but you feel like there’s something weighing on you, start here. Her premise is that if your physical space is messy, your mental space will be messy, too. She also has a show on Netflix. In a similar vein, I find watching Hoarders to be inspirational in helping me clean whenever I start to feel like my space is getting the better of me.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer. This would be another good starting point if you’re interested in becoming a better version of yourself. It’s very interactive, and I would recommend getting a good notebook if (like me) you can’t stand the thought of writing in a book. And a good pen. I’m always on the lookout for good pens; please send your favorites my way!

The Little Book of Lykke by Meik Wiking. I read this a couple of months ago. Here’s my five-star review from Goodreads: “Both enjoyable and inspiring, but not for anyone who is easily offended by strong language. It read like a casual conversation with a good friend who is as interested in science as I am. This book reminded me why I wanted to pursue happiness research!” 

I will try to keep this list updated as I continue my journey back to my Self. You can also find me on Goodreads by searching for Bonnie Spear. What are some of your favorite inspirational books?

Overthinking

Yesterday, I finished reading a book titled Don't Overthink It. In it, author Anne Bogel shares a story about overthinking whether or not to buy flowers at Trader Joe's (and ultimately regretting her decision not to). Today, I was planning a trip to a different grocery store, but found myself instead at Trader Joe's because my son LOVES that they have baby carts that he can push himself (which is literally the cutest thing ever). 

Right inside the door, I stopped to look at the flowers. I ultimately decided not to buy any because I didn't love the selection they had, even though I do love having fresh cut flowers to brighten up my dreary kitchen. We finished our shopping, and an employee came up to us as we were checking out and offered us free daffodils. I have trouble accepting things for free, so I asked why they were giving away the daffodils. She said the flowers were opening and wouldn't last long and they wanted to "brighten people's day." At which point I realized that I needed to stop overthinking the situation, say thanks for the daffodils, appreciate the kick in the butt from the Universe, and decide not to overthink buying flowers in the future. 

Reading to Babies

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a little money if you make a purchase using these links.

We've all heard that reading out loud to babies and children is good for them. I remember my dad reading to me every night before bed when I was growing up--he'd even take whatever book we were reading with him on business trips and read to me over the phone if he couldn't be there in person. My mom would read to me, too. They had different styles of reading and different tastes in books. Reading was a huge part of my childhood, and I believe reading has had a huge impact on who I am. So, naturally, I wanted to be able to give that same experience to my children. I decided to start right away with Baby Boy. Being that he's just a month old, I figure that it doesn't really matter what I'm reading to him as long as I'm reading him something.

The first thing I read aloud to Baby Boy was this scientific paper. As soon as we finished that, I started reading him one of my favorites:

Harry Potter was something my dad read to me and we both loved. I'm sure this will not be the last time I read it to Baby Boy. 

What are your favorite books for kiddos?

Bump Books

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I make a little money if you make a purchase using these links.

People who know me probably know I enjoy reading. So, of course, when I found out I was growing a human inside me, I decided to read up on this new (to me) subject. 

The first bump book I got was one that was recommended by someone I was in a class with, while she was pregnant, and I was not. It was The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. I was underwhelmed. The book didn't have all the factual info I was hoping for, and it felt like it was trying too hard to be cute. For example, every time the author talked about how you're pregnant for nine months, she put (ten) after. Exactly like that. Every time. Which might have been cute or funny the first time, but it's not even accurate. 40 weeks does not equal 10 months... it equals 9 months and 1 week. And you're not even pregnant when the doctor starts counting; it's 40 weeks from the start of your last period, and for the most part you're not fertile until about 2 weeks after that. Sorry if that's too graphic or too technical for anyone, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Speaking of which, the other ongoing theme that annoyed me throughout this book was the references to the "titty fairy" and how small-breasted women were always so excited to have their boobs grow during pregnancy. I miss having small boobs. A lot. When I went shopping for new bras and the saleswoman wanted me to try on a DDD cup, I literally started crying. Which was probably partly due to my raging preggo hormones, but still. Stop trying to tell me I should be excited about needing to wear a bra 24/7 or risk permanently damaging myself.

I wish I had gotten the second book first. I actually started reading Expecting Better before I finished reading The Girlfriends Guide, and finished it first. Expecting Better is the pregnancy book I would have written if a) I hadn't finished grad school recently enough that the thought of reading another research paper makes me want to puke, b) I hadn't finished grad school long enough ago that my access to the university library has been revoked, and c) a brilliant author named Emily Oster hadn't written it already. This book cites actual research that's been done by actual researchers on the various things you're told to do (or mostly not do) while pregnant. And then... she doesn't tell you what to do. Oster assumes that pregnant women are real people with brains and can make their own decisions when given actual information and data instead of just rules. It's a freaking miracle, and I would recommend this book not only to anyone who is pregnant, but to anyone who has ever thought about whether or not growing a human is something they might be interested in. 

Are there any other pregnancy books you would recommend? Or baby books, since I should probably start reading up on what to do when you have a small human in front of you and not just inside you?